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This whole process has been a roller coaster of information and emotion.  One minute we’re up, the next we’re down.  The docs have helped and hurt through the information gathering process.  Generally, we get a call from the docs office and then we prepare for what’s to come…more graphic information as the docs feel comfortable sharing - now that we’ve seen them a couple of times.  We got to meet the surgeon the other day…another step in the process.  For Leah and me, it’s been such an opposite experience.

As a dad (and a guy) the knowledge of the, “graphic” info helps me.  Being able to meet the surgeon that’s doing the work is huge.  It’s like I’m working through a puzzle and the pieces are starting to fit together.  Knowing that I’ve got one of the most critical pieces of the puzzle in place gives me comfort.  I hear the information and in military style I say, “Yes sir!  Thank you very much, sir!”  It just makes sense.  I just trust him.  He’s the expert, put him in coach!

Leah, on the other hand, processes the info different.  As a mom, it hurts.  To know what her little girl has to go through floors her.  Meeting the surgeon means more pain.  It means less stability.  Now the true nature of the surgery is a reality not just a concept.

It’s so weird how we process things differently.  The product though is growth.  We’re talking more.  We’re enjoying dates differently.  We’re praying more.  No matter how the docs are affecting us, the effect is changing us…healing is happening, even if it’s not happening how we want it.  God doesn’t waste pain.  Through the pain, we’re experiencing the peace of God.  It’s a bad and good place to be.

This song has helped us through this process. 

We just got back from the NICU and I have to be honest…we’re really doing well. I thought that we’d take it pretty hard, but everything went so well. Once again, the docs were so generous with their time. We spent an hour and a half with the primary neonatologist in a private room…one-on-one.

Generally we’ve prayed for Eliana and just did the best we could to get through all of these visits. This time we prayed before the visit. Last night we got on our knees next to our bed and prayed for us too. What a great idea, right?

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.“

The peace of God guarded our hearts today. We feel great. Not great that this is still a reality, but great that we have a GREAT God. Bigger than our problems and bigger than any information that freaks us out.

We’re off to rest - pretty drained. The kids are at Grandma and Papa’s house and I’m going to date my mate tonight…PF Chang’s here we come!

When we first found out the news, we had no clue about heart defects, heart surgery or infant intensive care. Would the doctors know what to do? Would they know how to react? Could we trust them? Our thoughts ran wild. How are we going to know what to do? Why so many doctors? How are we going to know who to meet and where to go? Should we get second opinions?

Our, relative experience, with all of this was only what we’ve heard others say, “The process is terrible.” “Doctors and hospitals never communicate” Only the worst was our context. We had so many reservations.

Our experience however, has been amazing. Every single step of the way, it’s the docs who’ve been pursuing us. We haven’t had to think about anything other than how to schedule all of the appointments. The office staff have been so helpful, fitting us into filled schedules. The nurses have been so compassionate.  The technicians have talked us through every step of the tests and the doctors have spent hours answering questions after their regular appointments.

Having Albany Med in our back yard is no coincidence. I believe that God has us right where we need to be. It’s not by chance that our baby will have the best pediatric hospital taking care of her. It’s not by chance that a ultrasound technician identified the heart defect. Something the surgeon was completely surprised by.  It’s not by chance that we’re now in the hands of the best pediatric cardiology program in the state.

We’re going to visit the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). We’ll get to meet the staff and also get a tour of the facility. Sounds great - feels difficult. But that’s part 2’s post.

Pray for us. Visuals can be tough.

This weekend was a huge boost and God showed up in a big way. This journey that Leah and I have been on the past few months has been so difficult, yet so rewarding. Our little girl, Eliana has two heart defects and needs open heart surgery a week into her life…as parents, it’s tough to take. We’ve felt so afraid, so alone, and so tired. I found out this weekend that we’re not alone.

As I’ve gone through this process of emotions, God is teaching me that I can’t do this alone. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that my strength is not enough…I need His strength. This weekend, I had the opportunity to speak at NC in our series, “Hello, My Name is God.” I spoke on Jehvah Rapha, which means the God who heals and God’s strength was the only way that I got through it.

Saturday night was an unforgettable moment for Leah and me. Pastor Buddy asked that people come forward and pray for us and Eliana. What an amazing feeling to know that so many people were lifting our pain up before God. I can’t describe the feeling of care and belonging that we felt from our church family. I’m so grateful for my church. I don’t know what we’d do if we didn’t have Northway Church.

Today I heard so many stories of people’s pain I couldn’t believe it. There are so many people that need Jehovah Rapha. I heard people’s stories of how they are living in the, “why world.” Asking the question why. “Why is this happening God?”, or “God, why haven’t you healed?” Today was the day that a lot of them moved from the, “why world” and into the, “what world.” Now they’re asking the question, “God, what do you want to teach me through this?”, and “What do you want me to do through this?” Just hearing their stories was so encouraging to me. I believe that this weekend opened a door for so many people to start the healing process.

7. Nana flew in last Tuesday. What a blessing she is…clean house, clean kids, you name it, it’s clean.

6. Leah and I got to go on a date last week. I love that woman! We just talk and talked and talked.

5. Andrew’s been on the gluten free diet for almost two weeks now…I hope we see some results soon.

4. These Olympics are the best ever…Michael Phelps is crazy!

3. Leah is one more week closer to having Eliana…the last trimester is always so hard.

2. I got to go to our Colonie campus last weekend. What an awesome experience.

1. I get to speak this weekend. Can’t wait to share what God’s teaching me these days.

I really enjoy reading other pastors’ blogs. It’s refreshing to hear some of the stuff they struggle with as well as what God’s teaching them in ministry and in life. This blog is by a guy that I’ve been watching for awhile. In fact, he’s influenced my church, my pastor and my sermons…don’t tell anyone. I’ve learned a ton from Craig Groeschel, Sr. Pastor of LifeChurch.tv and this post is very timely with what God is teaching me these days. I’ve recently sat down and rethought my vision for my ministry. I’m not done yet - maybe never will be - but I feel like I’m starting to land the plane on a fresh vision for what God wants me to do. To answer the, “what could be?”, and “what should be?” questions. Not just the, “what does that church do?” question. Check this out…SWERVE!

Today was the day we’ve been waiting for and denying for the past 7 weeks. We went to the pediatric cardiologist today. Good news and bad news. The bad news is…nothing’s changed. In the doctor’s words, “this confirms the diagnosis from the previous visit.” The good news is…nothing’s changed. Although it isn’t the answer we’re praying for - healing - it is good news to know that nothing is worse and that nothing else was found to be wrong.

This process is hard. The theme of my thoughts seems to be, “there’s nothing we can do right now.” I can’t stand that thought…no matter how real it is. There really is nothing that we can do. However, there is something that we can do….PRAY! Thank you for all of your prayers and support.  Our church family has been so supportive…don’t know what we’d do without Northway Church.

Our God is a good God whether He does what I want or think or not. He is Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals…whether He heals the way I want or think or not. No matter the circumstances, I will pray that God heals our little girl, Eliana…the God who Heals.

This weekend I have the incredible opportunity to speak in God’s House…about Jehovah Rapha in our series, Hello My Name is God. I can’t wait to share how God is healing me through this process…healing is happening!

I’ve been waiting for months now. Once I heard that we would be hosting the Northeast regional C3 Conference this coming October, I salivated over the opportunity. I had the opportunity to hold a conference for Celebrate Recovery last year in June and just had our Celebration Event on our land where over 2000 people came together to celebrate the last 5 years of NC. With those successfully under my belt, I’ve got the, “event planning” bug. Some people call it OCD. I just call it normal. Ok, so I like details and maybe have some control issues. But, then again, that’s why I need Jesus.

Tracy from Fellowship met with our volunteers and staff to talk about the awesome power this conference has to change lives. Which then, in turn, changes God’s church. I can’t wait to see what God is going to do this coming October. My prayer is that of my Sr. Pastor, Buddy Cremeans…that God would position Northway Church to reach this region and ultimately the Northeast with the good news of Jesus Christ. My prayer is that through this conference, pastors pursue one vision for God’s church…to go after the one by leveraging everything they’ve got for the lost.

I can’t wait for this October, but then again, hopefully the time will pass slow enough to get everything perfect!

Have you ever prayed for something to happen or change?  I mean really prayed.  God’s been rocking me on this prayer thing recently.  Sometimes I feel like I’m really making headway with God…I just know that He hears me.  Then other times I feel like my words don’t even get past the ceiling.  And then finally, when I arrive at the answer that I’ve been praying for so diligently (well, ok, somtimes diligently) God doesn’t answer the way that I thought He would…eghh…wrong answer!

I read this article today and it made me think of me.  That church prayed so hard for an answer.  They were serious.  They just didn’t expect that answer.  You ever felt like that?

Let me mess with your head a little bit…read Job.  That dude had it out with God.  He didn’t hold back.  God’s answer was totally different than what Job was looking for.  But he did learn something about God.  God is huge, powerful and can do anything.  Where were we when He told the sun where to shine?  Who are we to even ask the Creator of the universe to, “bless our food.”  That’ll rock your world.

So the next time you pray, think about that.  Live in that world for awhile.  And remember, God only answers prayers with our desires in mind…eghh…wrong answer!

I’m normally not into politics, but I do keep up and especially pay attention when something’s out of the norm. The norm, and what I can’t stand about politics, are the near-sided speeches the candidates give based solely on a few temporal issues that happen to be the exact opposite of the other candidates for opposites sake. Or the answers to the tough questions that seem to always revert back to flying the flag of their party or platform. I just want to hear the man or woman…just them. What’s their character like? Do they have integrity? How do they make decisions? What’s their track record?

So, out of the norm, is an opportunity (I hope) to hear just that. Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church is going to have an open debate of sorts at his church with Barack Obama and John McCain. I thought it was a very interesting idea. I hope it turns out to be as good as it sounds. Take a look on the blog of the week… MondayMorningInsight.com